Bottled Thots - i u h e u x

26 June 2007

I don't wished to say I'm lost..
Because I'm a christian.
God is always there to guide.
So why that lostness..?

But I'm feeling it alittle now..
Coz I've misplaced my trust in
someone whom I thot I can rely on.
And maybe for the rest of my life.
Chinese sayings:" xi wang yue gao, shi wang yue da"
Meaning: "Having higher expectations, brings greater disappointment"

I don't understand why he said that.
Is it because he didn't want to commit himself?
Is it beacuse he didn't really love me to that extend?
Is it because he wanted more freedom?
Is it because he just needed abit more time?
I really hope he has good reasons for doing so.

He called me yesterday.
I wasn't happy that he called actually.
Coz its not the same anymore.
Its just a routine to me.
Its just a habit to him.

I still can't calm myself down.
I must admit there's some kinda hatre in my heart.
I hated him for wasting my time.
My youth is very limited.
And these few years are my critical years.
I need to get married.
As everybody seems to keep asking me, "when's your turn?"
The sad truth is, I don't even have a boyfriend...