Bottled Thots - i u h e u x

25 September 2007

Feeling alittle emo after watching
Project Make Over.

I rem typing "korean comedy" in crunchyroll search bar.
Why did I end up watching a love story?

I'll always rem that night when I was so heart broken.
Sitting in his car, crying non-stop.
He was talking and talking...
while sending me home after prata.

I din really catch what he said.
But i rem 2 things:

When a person say "I love you", they really mean it when they say it, despite the fact they aren't able to fulfill it.

Everybody likes something at a different stage of life. At a younger age, you'll like someone with good looks. Later on, you'll probably like someone with money and stability. And as you get older, you'll prefer someone who can spend time with you.

This movie was about a girl, given a chance to go back to her past.
She tried to change her life, but failed.
Still..
Falling in love with a guy with good looks and talents.
Missing out the guy who's faithful and intelligent.

While she's back to her past,
she realised..
how much the other guy has sacrifice for her,
how much patient he had,
how he perservered.
Doing all things he couldn't have done.

Reflecting:
- Did i missed out sucha person in my life?
- How much will i perservered for my loved ones?
- Will i sacrifice for them, knowing i wouldn't be appreciated?

Discovered:
My love language is..
1st - Acts of Service
2nd - Physical Touch
3rd - Quality Time
4th - Receiving Gifts
5th - Words of Affirmation

Try this link to find out yours: http://www.greaterquest.com/LoveLanguages.asp

23 September 2007

So tempted to love him all over again..
But I stop myself from doing that..

Good Job.

Back from Genting..
Back to Reality..

Seems like a happy trip..
BUT
Why don't I trust him anymore?

I just feel I'm pushing myself away
from him whenever I doubt him..
And wanting to escape to someone's arms
who knows how to appreciate me..

Should I give him a chance?
Or
Should I give both a chance?

Like the quote from Evan Almighty..
Now God really have provided me a chance
to trust, to love, to be truthful and honest..

Love drives out all fear.

So does that mean that I love him lesser now?
Coz I have fearsssssss man..

Korean:
Aissssh... Jin Zha!
Na Michigesso...!!
Pabo..
Oppa Pabo yo..
Kajima..
Na Saranghanude..
Kun de...
Yong won ni?

Sighh..
It ends with a question mark, boy...

Coz i dunno.........

19 September 2007

After he shared his love story..
I forgot I'm the victim of that story..
An unwanted 3rd party..
A spare tire..

I really empathize him..
And I understand why J. did that too..
It's easy to spot others mistakes..
And finding excuses..
Or someone to blame..

He saw what J. did was wrong..
He seems blind to his mistakes..
Although he knew he's wrong
but well.. he seems to brush it off with one word,
"wavered"

To me, one will only wavered when
love is weak.
Or not there.
Through this, we can really tell.

Seeing them.
I conclude with this.
Human are selfish.
So am I.

I too wanted the best of both world.
I wanted stability.
I wanted comfort.
I wanted to be treated like a princess too.

God, I need your divine intervention.
Send me a signal.
Send me a sign.

How should I apply what I've learnt to this situation?
WWJD?
I really dunno what will you do....

18 September 2007

Just one more day..
I'll be really be going Genting with him.
It's like a dream.
I mean a nightmare.
A 2 months nightmare.
It seems normal on the surface.
But is everything really normal?
What is he really thinking?
Did he miss J.?
Well, he should.
But of coz I don't like it.
The sudden change makes me losing sight.
Anyway, by faith not by sight.
Ahaha..lame...
Don't wanna think too much..
But if I don't think,
am i escaping or what?
Aiyo..
So many questions..
So little answers..
God...
Help!

10 September 2007

"Just one more for Jesus, just one more for Jesus.."
I cried when i read this section.
I will be held responsible for the non-believers in my community.
I will be held responsible for being an accomplice as well.
Knowing she's cheating and assist her to cheat or continue..?

No. I must stop my irresponsible actions. Now.

Asking someone to get a divorce is not the best choice either..
But still, I shouldn't "help" in the cheating anymore.
If it's a murder case, I'm an accomplice.
Who's just as guilty as the murderer.
I can't believe I'm so wrong.
Wrong from the start.

Please stop.

And stop feeling incomplete without a partner.
Christ's love has made me complete.
I just want to enjoy this singlehood period.
Where I'm free to go anywhere..
Free to serve..
Free to do what I like..
Free.

Darius was sharing about how selfish people can get.
Pondering still.. I'm thinking to myself, am I selfish too?
Very selfish? In what ways then?

I don't get insecure like some girls do.
I never check anyone's hp as if they're cheating on me.
I never force anyone to intro me to their friends.
I never force anyone to accompany me all the time.
I always think for them.
I always make sure they have freedom and space of their own.
Or did I give them too much space?
Why then did they leave?
Becoz they're selfish?
Becoz they wanted something fresh?

Well.. What can I learn from here?
Alot?
Like what?
Same thing happening so many times?
Same lessons.
I really need to get this.
Else I've to relearn the lesson again and again.
This is gonna be terrible man..

I'm going Genting.
I pray nothing happens.
I really mean nothing please.