Bottled Thots - i u h e u x

15 June 2008

He gone...
I've been lying to everyone that I'm fine.
I'm totally not fine at all!!!

I'm getting angry with everything...
including myself...
Something must be wrong with me..that's why he left...
If I don't blame him, I'll blame myself for not cerishing him while I can...

I'm in a super confuse stated where I cant communicate to anyone at all.
I shop like normal..
Eat much lesser..
Cough like mad in themiddle of the night..
Stare in the air..
typing ..
thinking what is really deep within me..

I don't even know..

Black sunday..

Everything is black today.

He's gone.

I cant describe the feelings I have now.

I've a sense of freedom..

A sense of loneliness..

Alot of questions waiting for him to ans...

Alot of promises waiting for me to fulfill.

I just wanna love him and serve him...
God you know...
You know what I did...
Why did it turn out this way...?

I tried to find out...
But he is scared of me..
he is scared of a girl who loves him..
Why God?
Why is he scared of a girl who's trying hard to save this relationship?
I didn't force him to love me..
God you know everything..
If I fast and pray everyday will you help me?
I'm so confuse..
I wanted to cry but I can't..
What is wrong with me?
What is wrong with me?
What is wrong with me?

Why?
WHY??