Bottled Thots - i u h e u x

19 September 2008

Many things happened after we got together.
Good and bad things I've discovered.

Good:

- He's sweet.
- Honest, at least he admits his mistakes, confess his flaws and weakness.
- Enjoy each other's company.
- Good listener, quite patient EXCEPT while driving and with his friends...

Bad:

- Vulgar, bad mouth, too direct, uses hurting words...
- Double standards, meaning he can do it because he can do it... I cant do it because he don't like me to do it. (errr....got it?)
- Smoke. Although I must give him credit that he tries to cut down smoking in front of me.
- GAMBLE. This is one of my greatest fear... he's losing control before he realise he'll lose me.

Gambling is something i cant stand... Seriously.
Sorry for being traditional but I really feel I'm not young anymore. Dating now is like choosing husband now, which is also equivalent to choosing your future kid's daddy. Thus this person must pass being a good dad. I want my kids to be satisfied and well-loved by their father. Don't be like me. Since I don't have time, I should choose wisely.

Conclusion?

I dunno...

Everyday, I've been thinking about the same thing...

Repeatedly...like a resounding gong...arghhh!

I cant help but to enjoy this special time of being loved.
Being appreciated by someone.
Someone telling you he misses you.
Hugs you. Kiss you.
How selfish of me...

I'm having 2 thots...
to leave him soon by slowly being cold to him?
OR to continue, learning to accept all his flaws, enjoy all his bad habits?

Shit lah...

I suxxxxx!!!!
Sometimes, i hate myself.
Why the hell did i make the choice to be together with him again??
Knowing well that we'll not last.....
WHY?
what wrong with me?
now what...
I'm neither here nor there....
where can i go?
I'm in a grey area.

This is bad.

Summary: NO CONCLUSION.